BREATH
by ringochii
Summary: "Tetsuya, please at least let me hear your breath." "Tell me Sei, Have I gone mad?" "I knew, I saw the way you looked at him. Its the same way how I looked at you" Two loves, one cuel fate. Let me hear your breath.
1. Prologue

_**"When tears fall, even my smallest cherished memories don't know what to do **_

_**Because it hurts so much, we promised to let each other go **_

_**When I keep thinking about you **_

_**When its so hard that I can't take it **_

_**Please let me hear at least your breath"**_

**_\- Breath, SM Ballad (_**_**종현 and 태연**_**_) version_**

* * *

The rain, the fog and the moon always reminded me of him.

Someone said that the song, the touch or the scent which deliberately wafted into the air can awaken a long-forgotten memories. The thought of you still lingering in the heart and mind, how I recalled them back from the earliest days, when the first time I met you . Long ago, I was always jealous of them. The world that only them who understand, the gaze that only them who knew, and the touch that only hinted between one another. A love so great that it simply couldn't keep blooming and nobody could ever replace it in their heart.

Such a tragedy.

20 years have passed since then. Memory by memory buried in the heart of invisible box. This beautiful red twilight felt warm and gentle breeze blowing against my face. I remembered my love, you always admired the beautiful red twilight like this. You said, "Did you know? twilight is very similar to him. Moments like this make me feel like I was in his arms, though its just a wishful thinking. I would never be able to feel.'

Ironic, two people who loved each other but couldn't be together. You, who have always been in my memories, just remembering you and it gives a life to every breathe that I take. Humans have always given choices in their lives. You can choose what you dreamed, what things you hate, but can you choose who you want to love? If reality can be as simple as that, maybe today I could see your smile, my love. One more time.

My love, are you happy now? It's been a while since I never hear the sound of your laughter anymore. Did you know? Now I'm sitting in a coffee shop where we used to spend a lot of time together after school. Sometimes, you are also invited him to spend more time with you just a little longer. Sometimes, you also asked him to sit beside you so you could see the glint of his eyes that occasionally stealing glances at you. However, he was very different from you. You were like the sun and the moon, you two are one. And I'm sure, you must be happy now, because only with his presence beside you, it would make you be the happiest person in the world.

When I walked in the streets that we've always been through, I have always looked forward to seeing you. Like now, maybe I would be a little happier if I heard the doorbell rang and I saw your silhouette enter this coffee shop. Every time I return to this city, I always do. But how far I've got my hope high? Like a fool, I always played my silly fantasies over and over that I already knew it's not going to happen. It hurts.

Time sure flies so fast, this coffee turned cold, I didn't even touch it. I just remembered you and him repeatedly. Ah, I felt my cheeks wet with tears. Seems like yesterday, I couldn't forget you. My love, you don't cry anymore right? When I saw you cry without being able to do something really made me feel useless. I could only see you wept over him whenever you remembered how fate so unfair to you. You also cried when you couldn't hold back your love so great to him. Every now and then you will said, 'It's so painful. I can't hold it anymore. Please, make a stop.' My love, if only you knew I felt the same way as you. Perhaps, as well as _him_.

"Let me hear your breath. Please. Just your breath was enough for me. Let me take these sins alone. I just need to hear your breath falls around me, then I could bear all of it all alone. "

I still remembered every word that he spoke to you when you were unable to hear. He, who is like the sun, he kept repeating those words like a spell that could make you understand. But, the sun once so bright and warm it has become a supernova, leaving only traces by trace of invisible life.

"Tell me you love me. You understand, don't you? I love you so much. It is very painful to see you looked at him the same way as I look at you."

I'm so jealous. At that time I hated him. But when I saw the pain in his eyes when he looked at you with great sadness, I knew, I'm just a selfish person. You have reached your own happiness now. I am glad. I also want to be happy like you and him.

20 years have passed since then. I still couldn't forget you and him. Our story. No, its just their love story. The sun and the moon. The boy with the burning red eyes and the boy with the gentle teal-hair.

* * *

**it's my first time posting my story here. and here I am like a fool, trying to understand how to post this story. bleeh **

**forgive me for the grammatical errors, i really need a beta, but I barely knew anyone here. bleeh my fate~**

**let me hear your review my dear friends and follow and favorite would be really nice!**

**-Ringo**

**Note:**

**well, I think I'm done for editing finally. I sound like primitive here -_-**

**\- I would like to say thank you so much for your nice review Shiro san :) Hmm, i'd like to leave reply here in my post. I usually put the lyrics in my story as quotes, and yesterday was kinda mess up because I don't know how to post and how to edit them. This site is rather more complicated than my usual sites,that's why now i look like a fool T_T well, it was just prologue Shiro san, i'm sorry if it was pretty short. i'll do my best next time :) again, thank you very much!**

**\- And thank you for favoriting and following my so messed up story. I'll do my best!**


	2. Chapter 1 Before our eyes

**Here the chapter one. **

**The title of this story based on song Breath by Sm Ballad, Kim Jonghyun and Taeyon.**

**Warning: slow updated, grammatical error, twincest.**

**Disclaimer: The characters of Kuroko no Basuke belong to Fujumaki Tadatoshi.**

* * *

"_**What it means to live life,**_

_**surely, is to let go little by little**_

_**Then at the moment you lost your last,**_

_**there's someone by your side**_

_**to give you their tears**_

_**With that alone, we're happy."**_

_**\- Hoshi no Utsuwa, Sukiwa Switch.**_

* * *

And here I am. I'm back to where it all began. It's not just about remembering, but once again let it be embraced the chains of our memories. Untouched and undamaged. Though, I already knew it was just sugar-coat fantasies.

* * *

_**Why...**_

I've forgotten the sound of the wind. I've forgotten the resonant of your voice. Since when? I couldn't remember the way you used to looked at me. I am tired. I 'm all alone. I barely recognized you. _**Why?**_ You've changed. I saw it. For me, there's nothing to live for. Slowly fading away from me, from us.

'_Look at me! You used to looked at me straight in the eyes. You used to smiled at me as if I'm your greatest thing in your life._'

I knew. It's like everything about you was just my _**own**_ imagination. In my fantasies, you were fall in love with me. In my fantasies, we could kiss and holding hand as much as we want. For just once, I want it to happen my way. A forbidden fruit seemed so appealing. I was starving with your affection.

'_Am I gone mad?_'

I'm sick. I'm in pain, the kind of pain that no one could make it better. The wave of emotion that was constantly flowing over me. There's no way to getting out. If you asked me, how do you express your love? Then I would have said, 'I would die for you.' I know, maybe it made them think that I'm crazy. Two people were parted by fate. They lost one another.

You are my sanctuary.

This fate, this face, this forbidden love are what connects us, dear Sei.

I touched my chest, my lungs hurts. I've been in depression. I've lost. "It would be nice if I just died..." I whispered to my self, no one listening anyway. It's just me, here in a dark-cold room. The silence was so thick, I couldn't help but feel like its swallowing me. I missed my brother so much, he changed and I felt so lonely. I didn't want to be on my own, I hate it, and he knew that. It's been two years since our last year in middle school. I became emotionless, sometimes my eyes just died while he looked at me. I thought this is the real me, I'm dead, just like a lifeless puppet. One day that moment was happening, when he just snapped and changed. He never looked at me in the eyes, he became so cold and he just stood there. Love is just not enough for him, he said no one will understand, but I don't care. He said love will destroyed us into dust. I've always love my brother, I love him to death but he didn't care.

I found it hard to breathe every time I think about him. Like now, it's really hard to breathe, I think I've got an another attack. I reached my oxygen mask and put it on my nose. The cooling sensation crept in through my lungs. I barely saw my brother in our home, even if his room is next to mine. He is nothing like me, I'm weak and miserable, I'm just a shadow. My brother, he's like the sun, shinning so bright, strong and beautiful. I'm a plain sight, I knew that everyone won't glanced my way.

My sun, I called him that.

It stared with a kiss. A kiss that triggered an untouched desire deep down of me. Two years ago, our happy moment.

_Soft voice echoed through the room where he was sitting alone staring at a small window above the ceiling. At that time, there was no light, only the dim starlight on the brighter city lights. Plenty times he walked down the hallway outside his room, go to the attic to enjoying the dim yet peaceful lights, it calmed his mind. The young boy turned toward the soft voice. Dimly, visible figure of a boy with the same face as his, the same height as his, but with the expressions and eyes are very different. The other one looked worried, his brow furrowed and he bit his lip, a look that has always been his signature. he looked down, a sign that he wanted to ask for something._

_"Come here, Tetsuya. Sit down next to me. " He smiled at him. Smile that just showed to him. He held out his hand. Then the other boy grabbed it softly, with a warm smile he walked and sat next to him._

_"I am scared. You suddenly disappeared. I don't like being alone. "_

_"__You know? I can see it clearly, you are so beautiful Tetsuya." it was dark, it was just the sight of the moonlight. The gentle light that shone on Tetsuya's face._

_"__What?" Tetsuya turned his face to Seijuro, disbelieving._

_"__I said you are so beautiful." He said that and slowly reached up to his brother face. _

_"__Sei, you're being weird." He answered back somewhat nervously._

_"__Me? being weird? Not happening Tetsuya. I just told you the fact that you're so beautiful, and I... " Seijuro seemed lost and he closed his eyes for seconds. He sighed and bring his face closed to Tetsuya._

_"__I want to kiss you."_

_"__Sei, don't..."_

_"__Are you scared?"_

_"__That's not it, Sei." Tetsuya shoulders tensed and try to pulled back._

_"__Then, let me kiss you. Just one kiss, I won't hurt you."_

_"__Just one kiss." Seijuro smiled at Tetsuya, reaching his face and pulled it close to his. He leaned forward, he felt Tetsuya warm breathe brushing his left cheek. Gently, he kissing the corner Tetsuya's mouth. The blue head jerked away, but Seijuro hold him close. He turning into real kiss, it wasn't deep like how adult kissing each other, but it felt real enough to made the twins felt something inside them stirred. Tetsuya was terrified, because he want to respond it more, the whole heartedly. He gave in, Tetsuya felt a sensation that he never felt. Closing his eyes didn't help either, the more he closed them, the more he felt Seijuro tongue danced lazily in his mouth. Slowly he opened his eyes, he felt Seijuro breath quickened and he could see Seijuro half lit eyes darkened. Tetsuya was afraid, it was too good to be true, he was more afraid with the consequences._

_"__Ungh..." He couldn't help but whimpered. Seijuro felt the same way, he was more lost in deep pleasure than his brother. He couldn't control his desire, Tetsuya tasted sweet and it addicted. The border crushed, it scattered into the shadow. Like a fire burning bright, his body was burning. He wanted Tetsuya, he wanted him only. Such an unbearable sin, Seijuro led him deep to the darkness. _

_"__Sei..." Tetsuya pushed him a little and pulled his lips so they could catch a breathe. He could see Tetsuya faced flushed with delicious color. Red is always suit him. He put his forehead against him, tried to felt his beloved soft breath, it was warm. Tetsuya skin was so warm and Seijuro couldn't find someone who completed him better._

_"__Tetsuya..." Gently, he reached for Tetsuya left cheek and deeply looked into his eyes. _

_"__I love you."_

_**That was a lie.**_

I knew that was a lie. If you love me you would never leave me. How can you crushed my whole world so easily? I can picture it so clearly how cold your eyes when you said that our love will destroyed us, sent us straight into hell. Then why did I felt it in the first place? World is so unfair to me, and to us.

I heard the foot steps come, I know whose the foot steps is. He always come home late, not even care when our parents nagging at him. And sometime he smelled like sex. So he really did hate me. I never learned, for what I saw, I heard, I felt, I can deny it as much as I want because here I am, helplessly in love with him.

Morning has never been my best friend. It has always made my lungs hard to breathe. That's why I have to wake up earlier than other because I can't rush my activity. But morning air has always been my favorite, it's fresh and calming. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Pale skin, blank eyes and a dead face. Some friend of mine told me that there was no difference between me and ghost. I have weak presence, and it surely made Seijuro the opposite of me. A piercing red and gold eyes, red hair have always stood out.

I walked down to the dinning room, when I passed Sei's rooms I know that he won't be down until I go to school. We barely spending our time together like the old times in our home.

"Good morning, Tetsuya. I prepare french toast for you, here. Don't forget your morning medication, okay?" My mother put down the steamy french toast on the table. I eat it slowly after said thank you for her. I've never been a fan of eating, just half of it its enough for me. I take some pills from my pocket and swallowed it.

"Thank you for the food. See you later, mom." Fresh air greet me, it felt like brushing my face. Sei and I used to walked side by side few years ago and at that time, gentle expression never leave his face. It never get me bored.

I never have many friends, But Sei have. I just have two close friends. The names are Aomine Daiki and Kagami Taiga. Aomine-kun and Kagami-kun have similar personality, they cursed everywhere, eat everywhere, so loud and noisy. But they always really kind to me and Aomine-kun has always stayed with me late at school when I have to stayed on library longer. I'm glad, at least not everyone is abandon me.

* * *

Momoi Satsuki is an impatient girl. She sat on principal office too long for her liking. Transferred applications is always too troublesome. She tapped her shoes on the floor, showing that she was really bored and frustrated. She's getting tired for this, as long as she could remember, it was the third times she changed he school for the sake of her father's job. That's why she barely made a friend.

"I think it's done. Fukuyama-sensei will bring you to the class and you will meet the homeroom teacher there." She seemed relieved. Momoi glanced at Fukuyama-sensei, looking at his apparent. Black-hair middle age man, plain face with casual clothes.

"Come with me, Momoi-san."

"Yes."

She wondered how it would be like in this new school and new people. Momoi thought she was so lucky, Rakuzan is a favorite school, a powerhouse with the chosen student and the smart one only can accepted here. The student always seems so prim and proper, it gave Momoi special pride. She arrived at her class and Fukuyama-sensei talked to petite woman with short brown hair, tried to explained something. The brown hair woman turned her head to her and smiled. As she approached her, Momoi assumed that maybe she is her homeroom teacher.

"Hello, Momoi-san. I'm Aida, please too meet you. Let's see everyone." I smiled at her absentmindedly and followed Aida-sensei to the class.

"Attention everyone, we have transferred student from Tokyo. Please introduce your self."

"Good morning, my name is Momoi Satsuki. Pleased to meet you." bowing my head it necessary since its Kyoto.

"You can the empty seat, maybe the one in the last row on the right. Behind Tetsuya-kun." Aida-sensei explained to her as she pointed toward someone in the second row from the last. She followed her hand and it pointed to someone with sky blue hair. It was spring, the weather was really nice and warm. You could smelled the sakura fragrance in the air and Momoi found her beloved in Kyoto, his name is Akashi Tetsuya. Momoi walked toward the empty seat as she glanced at Tetsuya. Never once in her life she knew anyone who have feminine features as much as him. The blue hair seemed so soft, with petite figure and gentle expression. She couldn't concentrated to the class, she just looked at a figure in front of her absentmindedly.

"Do you need something, Momoi-san?" the blue head turned toward pink hair girl. Blank eyes looking straight to her, heat crept into her face, reddening her cheeks.

"Wha... What? oh... no, nothing." As Momoi answered Tetsuya, her face got redder and shyly she glanced up to Tetsuya, seeing he still looked at her with blank face.

"It's lunch time. I guess you are not familiar with this place yet, right?"

"Yes, but I'm fine by my self."

You took my breath away, like finally the sun rays shone the gentle light on me. I wanna be with you, as long as I can. I don't know, the feelings inside my heart overflowing and I just felt like there's no air around me. As he took my hand for a moment, led me towards the cafeteria to meet friends of his, my heart couldn't stop racing. It was just a second, but it already took my breath away.  
"Let's sit there, Momoi-san." Tetsuya led her to empty seat in the back row. He is the typeof someone who avoids any kind of attentions.  
"Do you always sit here?" She asked Tetsuya as she open her bento and put down the plastick chopstick. When Tetsuya want to answer her, two guys with tall and firm built approaching their seat and the one with dark blue hair put down carton glass in front of Tetsuya. The other one with red hair sat down next to Momoi and began to eyeing her. True that was unusual of them having girl having lunch with them.  
"Vanilla shake for you, Tetsu. And who is she?"

"It's Momoi-san. New student." Tetsuya answered him while he began to eat fried egg silently. Momoi thought that Tetsuya has small appetite since the bento he bought has small portion. Yet the boy beside her, the red head bought so many foods completely the opposite of Tetsuya.

"Oh... I guess we are stuck together for now on, eh?" The dark blue head said and give her bright toothy grin.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing at all. Don't worry we are good people. I'm Aomine by the way, and that monster eater beside you is Kagami."

"Oi, watch it Ahomine." And like always, they are continue to bickering non stop, arguing something that Momoi fail to undertand like a married couple.

Shortly after, some people were seen entering the cafeteria. Two figures, one is tall with green head, the other one is shorter and he has bright red hair. Momoi observed them, tried to understand why people began to made noises and she watched as the girls looked at them with the adoration. They sat in the front row, far from their seat. Momoi couldn't take her eyes of the red head, the aura around him was overwhelming. As she studied his feature, the red head turned and looked straight to her. Not just her, he seemed turning his gaze in front of her with longing expression.

"They are seem popular. Who are they?" Momoi asked, and suddenly she realized the boy in front of her stiffed. Unbearable expression crept up in his face.

"Ah... them. The green hair is Midorima Shintaro and the red hair is Akashi Seijuro. Tetsuya's twin brother. They are the elites in this school." Aoimine explained it to Momoi, as expected Momoi seemed taken back with the information. She turned her head at Tetsuya and saw that Tetsuya eyes full of sadness.

Momoi realized, it must be something. Hidden in the deepest heart, she didn't have heart to asked more question, though she was dying to know more. Brothers with invisible barrier, longing expression that mean a lot. It has to be something.

* * *

"Are you not eating, Akashi?" the green hair boy named Midorima Shintaro asked the red hair in front of him. His expression is bleak, though he knew that Akashi tried hard to conceal it. Midorima followed his gaze and it seemed end to baby blue hair that Midorima knew a lot. Felt so helpless, Midorima let out heavy sigh and continue eating.

"No, I'm not hungry." the bleak expression turned to cold, so cold that it reached his red eyes that hold so much regrets.

* * *

**Forgive me if you find so many mistakes and twisted plot. I'll try my best for the next chapter.**

**Thank you for the reviewers, followers and whoever that send me a messages.**

**please let me know what do you thing reader-sama :)**

**\- Ringo**


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